The sun is coming out earlier now, around 7.30 the sky is bright. I wish you were here to see it. I have had several pleasant sensations since you passed away – the sashimi where I tagged along with Caleb to get away – but realized it was because I didn’t want to be left alone. The flowers in the house… I had thought cut flowers are such a frivolous thing, but somehow they do give some comfort, perhaps in particular as the trees are still bare outside. I guess I just needed to be empty enough to feel the comfort they give.
I wish you were here to share these sensations with me. Yet we have, indeed, shared as many moments as we could. Nice sashimi, for example. One time we were fighting on that beach resort vacation, because we somehow expected that no one was taking care of the kids. I was feeling quite upset and couldn’t sleep, and went out of the cabin all in disturbance. But then I saw the sky… and I went back in, and said to you “Come outside! The sky is amazing.” And you immediately came with me, and we stood there for a while staring at this night sky full of stars, holding hands. When we went back into the cabin again soon later (for these are one of those moments where the flavor is often chosen to be savored shorter, rather than prolonged for very long), we were once again at charity with each other.
Grace En-Tien Chang 
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